So, I’ve had differing ideas of what I wanted to say today. Birthdays always put me in a bit of a pensive mood… Thinking back on the things that have happened, things happening now, things yet to come. I’ve never been one who is super big on celebrating my birthday… things often tend to go wrong in some way, so I try to keep my expectations low and it never disappoints.
People often have crises on their “0″ birthdays… 30, 40, 50, 60…. But I had mine last year when I turned 35. It was kinda scary, officially hitting middle 30s, not identifying myself as “young” 30s anymore, feeling that crunch age of trying to decide do I have more kids before I enter the risk-factor-zone, or do I run for president… and it was overwhelming to me. I got over it, obviously, and so far have decided on neither.
This year, I am met with a weird sense of calm… 36 is less scary than 35, but not too close to 40 to worry about that crisis. I feel okay about where my life is. I have my family of 3 plus 2 dogs, my daughter is almost 2 and still alive, and about to become a “preschooler” instead of a “toddler”. I have my own business with my preschool, so I get the best of both worlds (theoretically) getting to be home with my girl but also work.
This past year has taught me some about being okay with where I am in life, and I’ve taken steps to try to be happy with who I am, just as I am, not happy with who I could be. I’ve found a greater sense of honesty, and am starting to come to terms with the fact that I canNOT, in fact, do everything on my own. I still try, though. I just still suck at it. Cupcake is still here, ornery as ever. I wish I was healthier, and massed less. I was on a good path to that, though an apparent soy sensitivity derailed that for a while–
–speaking off, who DOES that? Starts a strict diet plan, only to find it was a bit too strict. Wanting to uphold the gluten and dairy free thing that brings most people better health, I switched to soymilk in my coffee. And you know what? I have had bloating and stomach pain for a week and a half, with a several-times-a-day Pepto habit, until I figured out it was the soymilk. Stopped it Sunday morning, and the last 2 days have been fine. WTF?? I’m the only person on the planet who gets sicker when they eat healthier. If that’s not a huge billboard statement from Cupcake, then I don’t know what is… luckily chocolate almond milk seems fine, and I’m only medium bitter that I have to avoid Starbucks for a while…–
Oh, and if you were wondering, I had 3 orangesicle cookies for my birthday today, and I feel just fine thankyouverymuch. I’m also looking forward to takeout sushi for dinner! Yum. You’re welcome, Cupcake.
36. 36 years ago Apple incorporated to become Apple, Inc, Star Wars opened in theaters, Elvis died, Voyager 1 was launched, The Food Stamp Act of 1977 was enacted, Harvey Milk was elected, The rings of Uranus were discovered, and I was born. (Sadly, my birthday was NOT included in Wikipedia’s 1977 summary).
Well, I can’t say I’ve come as far as Apple Inc, or done as much alive as Elvis has done deceased, nor do I have as many rings as Uranus, and I can’t say too much for anything I did in my 20s besides finish college, but I’m still here. And as a whole, I’m happy. I guess that’s something, because I couldn’t always say that on my birthday.
Happy Birthday, Cupcake.